“What house honey?”

“It was a big house by a sidewalk and with a boy and there was a pinball inside of the house. We need to go there!”

“What kind of pinball was it?”

“It was a Lightning McQueen pinball!” (it should be noted here that there is no such thing as a Lightning McQueen or Cars pinball game, although that would be COOL!)

At this point I kind of smiled at him and got squatted down on my knees so I was on his level. I looked him in the eye and with what I hoped was a kind fatherly smile tried to explain that he was just having a dream. That sometimes when we sleep we see things but we just are imagining them, they aren’t real.

He looked back at me with wide eyes and said, “but it IS real!”

There was a mix of conviction & confusion in his voice that I don’t often hear, something very earnest. Different than the way he’ll tell us with all the authority he can muster that “it IS time to watch a movie” or “we ALWAYS have ice cream”. He was so sure of his visions, his memories that he couldn’t believe that I was telling him they weren’t real.

“It was only a dream honey.”

He put is head down, curled up in my lap and cried.

Parenting is hard.

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By the end of the weekend, I’d become aware of a couple things.

Firstly I’ve got an awesome extended family. I’m so grateful that my boys are connected to their aunts & uncles as well as their grandparents (and great grandparents). These people are a part of their lives, not simply far flung acquaintances.

Secondly, my kids are pretty darn fun. Oh sure, they’re stubborn, illogical, mind numbingly persistent and insufferable when they don’t get their way, but aren’t we all from time to time? As they get older I’m sure the our adventures together will get more grand but for now I’m content with tricycles, sandboxes & sidewalk chalk.

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The thing I’ve noticed most over the last couple days is exactly how “busy” these boys are. While I will fully admit to liberal use of Curious George as a diversion, in those moments when I’m cleaning up from a meal or doing dishes or something I’ll hear Joel in the other room playing make believe with his trains. He’ll be acting out a scene from one of the books or movies, or just making up his own dialog. It’s really cute, and a good reminder to me that while I do enjoy rough-housing with him it’s important for him to have his OWN playtime too.

Isaac is all about the business of developing his 9 month old skill set. And he is SERIOUS too. If he’s pulled himself up to stand next to Joel’s train table and discovered a new toy (which we have an abundance of these post-Christmas days) you’d be well advised not to try and take it away from him because he’ll let you know how unhappy that makes him. It’s as if every single new trinket he finds is the most amazing thing he’s ever seen… and in some ways that may be true. He’s so determined about it too. It’s like the second he’s done eating he’s scanning the room, ready to start exploring. Look out Dad, I gotta PLAY!

We’re heading to Tacoma today to spend a little time with Grandma & Grandpa and then Sarah should be home by dinnertime. I’ll be nice to have her home with us, but I’ve also really enjoyed this special time with my boys.

The dynamic duo at yesterday’s Mobile Chowdown.

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Joel: “Daddy, I want to tell you a joke”
Me: “OK”
Joel: “Knock, knock”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Joel: “Goat”
Me: “Goat who?”
Joel: “Goat to the door and find out!”

I just about fell off my chair. I dunno why it caught me as so funny, I mean it’s a cute joke but definitely not in the comedic genius category or anything. I think it was the idea that he, in his own little 3 year old way, was pulling one over on me. I hadn’t heard that particular joke before (or if I had I’d long since forgotten the punch line) so when he delivered, slightly bumbling and trying to remember exactly how it went I was at once surprised, proud and completely tickled. Brilliant!

Just wait ’till Uncle Sean comes over…

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I’ve been reminding myself to savor these last couple weeks of being “just the three of us”, since all our schedules are about to be seriously disrupted. There are precious few of these lazy Saturday mornings left, where Joel crawls into bed with us and nestles down in between the pillows clutching his Pooh Bear and murmurs, “I am so happy.” We all find our way downstairs, make up some coffee and oatmeal and lounge around in our PJs, maybe we’ll get REALLY motivaed and head out for coffee or something. Not that it won’t be possible once the baby comes, it’ll just be… different.

Scene 1 – Mommy, in the kitchen fixing breakfast for herself while Joel eats his oatmeal in his high chair in the adjacent dining room

Joel: “I would like some juice please.”
(Mom hears him but is finishing up making her latte)
Joel: (a little bit louder) “I would like some juice Pleeeese!”
Mom: “OK”
Joel: (almost at the top of his lungs) “I would like some juice PLEEEESE with Alfie!!! Does ANYBODY WORK HERE!?”

Scene 2 – Mommy haphazardly trying to change Joel’s diaper as he squirms and kicks. Mommy is über pregnant and feeling quite frazzled. Joel all the sudden settles down and looks into Mommy’s eyes

Joel: “Mommy, would you like to be organized?”

Scene 3 – As the baby gets bigger Mommy’s pregnancy shirts are getting shorter and shorter and now apparently too short to wear at all

Joel: “Momma, Your bellybutton is hangin’ out.”

Scene 4 – Twice a month Mommy and Joel go to MOPs and Joel has had quite a hard time going into the nursery. He kicks and screams and has major separation anxiety. For the last month he has been doing much better and stops crying and starts playing after Mommy leaves the room. Mommy always makes a big deal out of the fact that Joel had fun when she comes back to pick him up. As they walk out of the church together and down the steps he looks up at Mommy

Joel: “Mommy will say… ‘Did you have fun at MOPs?’”
Mom: “Did you have fun at MOPs?”
Joel: “Yeah.”
Joel: “Mommy will say… ‘See that’s not so bad.’”
Mom: “So you are listening to me!”

Scene 5 – Aunt Charissa, tucking Joel in and saying bedtime prayers with him

Charissa: “What would you like to thank Jesus for tonight?”
Joel: “Umm…Wii Fit.”

Scene 6 – Mommy and Joel are still reading Christmas Story and Santa Claus books even though Christmas is long over. Joel likes to role play pretending he is someone or something else. Here he is convinced that he is Baby Jesus

Joel: “I am Baby Jesus, and Mommy is Mary.”
Mom: “Then who is in Mommy’s belly?”
Joel: (pointing to Mommy’s belly) “The THREE WISE MEN!”
Joel: (pointing to Mommy’s breasts) “And the HORSES!”

Mom: “Where does Jesus live?”
Joel: “Beth-la-JAM!”

Mom: Do you know who’s birthday is on Christmas?
Joel: “Santa Claus!”

Mom: “Who did the shepherds go to see?”
Joel: “Charlie Brown”

Scene 7 – Joel playing with his Thomas the Train Helicopter ‘Harold’, hovering over Mommy’s belly

Mom: “Are you showing your baby brother your Harold the Helicopter?
Joel: “Yes” (sliding Harold across Mommy’s belly)
Mom: “Do you think your baby brother will like to play with Harold?”
Joel: (wide eyed) “NO! THE BABY WILL WANT SOME MILK AND THEN LAY DOWN.”

Scene 8 – After putting Joel to bed Mommy hears a crash and then Joel shouts “OH NO!” Mommy rushes upstairs

Mom: “Honey, what happened?”
Joel: (with ridiculous fake sobbing) “Diesel FELL!”
Mom: “Ok, Mommy will get him, here you go.”
Joel: (stops sobbing and looks at Mommy with disbelief) “WHEW! WELL THAT WAS EASY.”

Scene 9 – Another too short pregnancy shirt worn around the house moment

Joel: (tugging the shirt over Mommy’s belly) “I will close the baby and the baby will go to sleep.”

Scene 10 – After Daddy shaved off a beard he wore for a several weeks

Dad: “Joel, What happened to Daddy’s face?”
Joel: “It is fixed!”
Joel: (rubbing Daddy’s freshly shorn head) “Your hair is soooo pretty!”

Scene 10.5 – After Mommy visited the Salon and paid a lot of money to get her hair cut & colored

Dad: “Ooh Joel, Look at Mommy and her pretty hair!”
Mom: “Hi Joel, Do you like my hair?”
Joel: (silence)
Mom: “Don’t you think it smells nice?”
Joel: (silence)
Dad: “Joel, isn’t it pretty?”
Joel: (looking away and very uninterested) “uh yeah”

Scene 11 – Another bedtime prayer moment

Mom: “What would you like to thank Jesus for tonight?’
Joel: “Ummm.. crackers and tractors, that’s all.”

Scene 12 – Since Joel’s Birthday he is convinced that any day can be his birthday

Joel: “It is my Birthday. We will have CAKE! With candles.. and I will BLOW THEM UP.”
Joel: “Mommy, I want to go downstairs and it will be my birthday, and I will have lots of gifts.”
Mom: “Honey, today is not your birthday. I’m sorry. We do not have gifts today.”
Joel: “Ummm, I will go downstairs just to check.”

So last week around 11pm or so Sarah and I were up watching TV and this wail comes echoing down the stairs. It’s not a “I’m in pain” wail or a “panic” wail, just a saddened “something’s not right up here” kind of cry. I scurried up the stairs to get to the bottom of the anomalous behavior. Cracking open Joel’s bedroom door I softly asked, “Is everything OK honey?”

“No!” came the reply. He was standing up in the corner of his crib, facing the door, visibly distraught.
“Ohh… what’s wrong?” I asked.
“Daddy will get Alfie!” he insisted.

Surveying the situation I could see that Alfie had fallen through the crib rails and was stranded on the floor. Additionally, Pooh Bear had somehow ended up discarded amongst the books and blankets on Joel’s “big boy bed” (we haven’t actually tried sleeping him in the toddler bed yet, but the day is undoubtedly soon in coming).

“Oh I’m sorry honey.” I offered sympathetically. I lifted him out of his crib and cradled him against me for just a minute, his red little cheeks still damp with his anxiety. “Can Joel lay down on his pillow and Daddy will get Alfie and Pooh bear?” I suggested.

“Yah.”

I laid him back down in the bed and scooped the pile of blankets back over him. Grabbing Alfie and Pooh, I returned his companions to his side. Joel tucked Pooh Bear under his arm and nestled down in to his pillow.

“I am all better.” he cooed.

As I shut the door behind me and crept back downstairs the thought came to me…

All better. Daddy made it all better. How wonderful and simple life was when all it took to make us feel better was the knowledge that someone was there who could always be called on to make everything right. What a profound and special gift my son has given me by letting me be that person for him… even more so because I know, unlike my young son, that this time will pass by us both so quickly.

I will not always get it right. There will be times when I’m impatient, absent, inattentive or just plain oblivious. But tonight, I’m content to have been able to make things all better, even if just this once.

Joel recently has taken to saying “I don’t like” insert-thing-here. Usually it is something he DOES in fact like but we’re not letting have / play with / do. In other cases I think he’s just trying to express his disappointment with the current situation. For instance, yesterday morning I was walking out the door to go to work, which provoked a flurry of disappointed cries and wails from the boy. I say, “OK, Daddy is going to work now. Bye” and he’s all, “NO! I don’t like Daddy!”

Clearly that’s not what he means (at least I hope not).

On the other side of the spectrum there are times like this morning. Joel slept well and, although awake, stayed contentedly quiet in his bed until after 9:00. (Pause here while I thank the Lord for Joel’s sleeping habits and pray fervently that his little brother is as merciful) I roll out of bed to go get him and he looks up at me and says, “Daddy will get Alfie and some milk”. “OK honey,” I reply. As I’m carrying him over to our bed he snuggles into my shoulder and murmurs “I am very happy.”

I’m just going to take him at his word on that one.

So the other day when were were making the best of our “Sunday at the pool” time, there were a few other parents and kids stuck out there with us. One particular mother was getting after her boy because he wanted to take off his coat and ride it down the slide (so as not to get his pants wet I’m pretty sure). Maybe she was a little more perturbed than the rest of us by not getting in under the occupancy limit or she may have just been a little shorter tempered person or her kids had been driving her crazy all morning before they even got there… I dunno. Suffice it to say she was being a little snippy with her kids. She’s all, “You put that coat back on right now! We’re on a trip and I can’t be doing 14 loads of laundry today!”

Joel, without even blinking looks right at me and says, cheerfully: “They’re on a trip!”
Me: “That’s right”
Joel, in the same cheerful tone: “And the mommy doesn’t like laundry!”

Now I know she must have heard him, but I couldn’t bring myself to glance over and see what kind of look she was probably giving me. I just picked Joel up and said, “Let’s go play on this other slide over here.”

“Yeah!” he responded.

Me: Joel, do you think there will be enough room for mommy & daddy AND Joel AND the baby in mommy & daddy’s bed?
Joel: Um… no…
Me: Should mommy and daddy get a bigger bed?
Joel: (shaking his head) No!
Me: Joel, when your baby brother comes will we be able to SHARE mommy and daddy with the baby?
Joel: (more emphatically) NO!

I don’t know how fair some of these questions are for him, since the reality of having a little brother is probably still slightly outside of his realm of comprehension, but it is telling. Having another one changes the game for everyone. I’ve really enjoyed these last couple years of learning what it’s like to be a parent and Joel has been a great teacher. It’s hard to know what life will be like with another one around… and yet like my Mom would always say, “You can’t imagine loving another one as much as you love the first… but then the second one comes and there’s just more love. You don’t love the first one any less, there’s just more.”