If there’s anything I’ve learned about parenting a toddler in the last few months it is this: don’t ever think you’ve figured out what’s going on in that cute little head because the second you do you’ll be wrong.

Joel recently has taken to saying “I don’t like” insert-thing-here. Usually it is something he DOES in fact like but we’re not letting have / play with / do. In other cases I think he’s just trying to express his disappointment with the current situation. For instance, yesterday morning I was walking out the door to go to work, which provoked a flurry of disappointed cries and wails from the boy. I say, “OK, Daddy is going to work now. Bye” and he’s all, “NO! I don’t like Daddy!”

Clearly that’s not what he means (at least I hope not).

On the other side of the spectrum there are times like this morning. Joel slept well and, although awake, stayed contentedly quiet in his bed until after 9:00. (Pause here while I thank the Lord for Joel’s sleeping habits and pray fervently that his little brother is as merciful) I roll out of bed to go get him and he looks up at me and says, “Daddy will get Alfie and some milk”. “OK honey,” I reply. As I’m carrying him over to our bed he snuggles into my shoulder and murmurs “I am very happy.”

I’m just going to take him at his word on that one.

If I were to give an honest, unbiased opinion (which is impossible for me to do, being his dad and all, but just go with me here) I’d say that Joel is particularly chatty for a 2 year old. His vocabulary is pretty darn diverse and he really seems to enjoy sharing his perspective on life with those around him (i.e. when I’m playing around and put his pint-sized fireman’s hat on my head he’s very quick to observe that, “Daddy looks funny!”).

So the other day when were were making the best of our “Sunday at the pool” time, there were a few other parents and kids stuck out there with us. One particular mother was getting after her boy because he wanted to take off his coat and ride it down the slide (so as not to get his pants wet I’m pretty sure). Maybe she was a little more perturbed than the rest of us by not getting in under the occupancy limit or she may have just been a little shorter tempered person or her kids had been driving her crazy all morning before they even got there… I dunno. Suffice it to say she was being a little snippy with her kids. She’s all, “You put that coat back on right now! We’re on a trip and I can’t be doing 14 loads of laundry today!”

Joel, without even blinking looks right at me and says, cheerfully: “They’re on a trip!”
Me: “That’s right”
Joel, in the same cheerful tone: “And the mommy doesn’t like laundry!”

Now I know she must have heard him, but I couldn’t bring myself to glance over and see what kind of look she was probably giving me. I just picked Joel up and said, “Let’s go play on this other slide over here.”

“Yeah!” he responded.

We’re starting to talk with Joel more about his little brother. While on one hand he seems to like the idea of having a baby around (he pretends that his Pooh bear is a baby and will rock it and kiss it) the whole idea of sharing Mommy and Daddy with another permanent addition to the family has been met with slightly less enthusiasm. Here’s a little excerpt from our conversation this morning:

Me: Joel, do you think there will be enough room for mommy & daddy AND Joel AND the baby in mommy & daddy’s bed?
Joel: Um… no…
Me: Should mommy and daddy get a bigger bed?
Joel: (shaking his head) No!
Me: Joel, when your baby brother comes will we be able to SHARE mommy and daddy with the baby?
Joel: (more emphatically) NO!

I don’t know how fair some of these questions are for him, since the reality of having a little brother is probably still slightly outside of his realm of comprehension, but it is telling. Having another one changes the game for everyone. I’ve really enjoyed these last couple years of learning what it’s like to be a parent and Joel has been a great teacher. It’s hard to know what life will be like with another one around… and yet like my Mom would always say, “You can’t imagine loving another one as much as you love the first… but then the second one comes and there’s just more love. You don’t love the first one any less, there’s just more.”